There’s usually any number of reasons why a game remained strictly Japan-only and never got a wider release. Sometimes it’s a matter of timing, with the game debuting in Japan on a platform that is already near-dead as the system’s manufacturer gears up to release a next-gen console (or go out of business). The publisher has to weigh the cost of localizing a title against a rapidly-diminishing audience who has already or will become enthralled with the next big system. This is why North America never saw a release of Mother on the NES (Mother 2 was released as Earthbound on the SNES, for the two people reading this who’ve never heard of the Mother series). Other times, the game in question just isn’t very good (though this hasn’t stopped publishers often enough). Another reason might be that the game is too “Japanese” or contains puns and jokes that would be impossible to translate. This is likely why the first Sakura Wars game wasn’t released here: there’s a pun near the beginning of the game that relies on the way that Japanese is read for its effect. The protagonist could have either joined a military operation or a theatre troupe. Other possible reasons for any sane publisher to steer clear of bringing out a game in the US: It contains a caricature of black people (a la Square’s Adventures of Tom Sawyer) or it features a comical cartoonish Klansman as the first boss. (To be fair, Dracula-Kun did eventually get released as Kid Dracula for the Game Boy, hopefully with modified graphics.) But one of the biggest reasons why even very popular games in Japan never make it off the island is that the game is in a genre that game publishers think won’t appeal to North Americans. For instance, Sakura Wars is, in large part, a dating-sim. We have yet to see a single Sakura Wars title in the U.S. even though the series is wildly popular in Japan. (We’ll apparently be getting one, finally, later this year… Apparently it’s a translation of the only one set in America.)

What’s that? You want to know when I’m going to stop rambling and get to the review? I will, I will… in a minute. First, though, did I ever tell you how, when I was your age, Coca Cola came in glass bottles and cost a nickel? And it was made with real cocaine? Man, you kids have it rough. Now, where was I… Oh yeah, the review.

Doukyuusei had two big strikes against its chances for a North American release (three if you count being on the PC Engine CD – the Japanese equivalent of the Turbo Grafx CD – and, judging by how few TG CD games we got, it probably was): It’s a dating-sim, and it’s a risqué, highly sexual dating-sim at that. In the history of North American gaming there have only been two legitimate (i.e., licensed) platforms for “erotic” games: the 3DO and the PC. Given that Doukyuusei isn’t pornographic enough to be an adult game (I didn’t see a single instance of nudity in my playthrough), it would be a tough sell even if it had been released on the 3DO. And dating-sims fared even worse than adult games at the time. Only the PC tolerated them, and that hardly counts since just about any game could show up on a computer. So, rather unjustly, Doukyuusei remained in Japan, playable only by import-fanatics like yours truly.

It’s a shame, really, because Doukyuusei is a fairly entertaining and humorous game. The goal is to have sex with as many women as possible, in the hopes of finding one to… marry? Go steady with? Recruit into joining your suicide cult? I’m not sure since I can’t really read Japanese. I’m still kind of amazed I was able to not just make it to the end of the game (a fairly easy fete considering the game runs on a strict timeline and ends when summer vacation is over), but that I actually added a few notches to the ol’ bedpost.

What makes the game fairly easy to play despite the large amounts of dialogue is the use of a cursor for performing most of the actions. Every time you run into a girl (or a guy), a static shot is shown with a cursor that changes shape depending on the action it can perform. This ranges from the perfunctory (a magnifying glass that gives you a brief description and, possibly, allows you to comment on whatever you choose to look at) to the wildly hilarious (a squeezing hand for groping breasts, a fist for punching some annoying douche in the face). Different people react in different ways and (I’m guessing) by doing or not doing certain actions you impress or appall the person you’re speaking to. One girl might enjoy you furtively stroking her leg for no apparent reason whilst another might yelp and call you “hentai!” It’s also possible that your actions in dealing with certain people gives you a reputation that one girl might find appealing whereas another won’t. (It’s difficult to know for certain since there don’t seem to be any guides or translations for this game floating around the internet.)

Things get a bit more complicated when characters ask you questions, attempt to set up dates for a certain time and place or expect you to take them to a certain place. While there is that magic pointer at work, there’s also a menu of three different actions, all in Japanese of course, which you can use during any of the first-person POV static scenes. One command apparently lets you speak to or quiz the person, whereas the others are basically “look around” and “leave.” So in some situations it takes a combination of speaking, looking, and using the pointer in the right manner to get a character to respond positively to you.

There’s also the matter of actually finding people to talk to. When not showing a static shot (either of an empty scene, say of a classroom or the outside of an apartment building, or of a character in one of those settings), you can move around through the town in third-person mode, all while a clock displays the time passing. If you know where someone is going to be at a certain time, you can race to that location to meet them. More often than not, though, you’re left hunting around for people to talk to. Two of the more reliable characters are fairly difficult (for someone with no knowledge of Japanese, anyway) to get with. This is somewhat offset by the MILF who’s always home and always ready and willing, should you become disheartened at your lack of skills with the rest of the ladies.

Time isn’t the only thing to keep track of either. You’re given a certain amount of money to spend and will need that cash to go on dates and ride the train back and forth between the two sections of town. You can always make money by working at the construction site, though you need to be there early in the morning and you can apparently do something that will cause you to not be able to work there anymore (maybe it’s just past a certain date you can’t work there, I have no idea). There are also a few people who will ask you for money for one reason or another. What does giving them money do? I have no idea. You can also spend time in your room, sleeping in order to advance time forward (since most of the action happens during the day) and to save your game, selecting a track on your stereo to change the background music, or viewing videos of the girls you’ve met by checking your computer (how you were able to film your conquests is never explained as far as I can tell).

Finally, time will pass to the point where your summer vacation is over and you’ll have the tough decision of which woman you want to ask to join your suicide cult (or whatever it is you’re asking them). You’ll either get accepted or rejected depending on how you fared with them and then the game will end. You can restart your final save to see all the possible endings for the girls who were actually receptive to your advances. I think it’s impossible to get every girl in one playthrough though.

Doukyuusei is definitely a game that should be played by someone with at least a passing knowledge of Japanese, but that knowledge isn’t required to have a good time with it. It’s entirely possible to bluff your way through the whole thing and still have a blast (and ogle scantily-clad still-shots of cartoon women). I’m sure it’s a lot more rewarding if you can actually understand it, but there’s enough here to keep anyone interested, particularly once the controls and functions of everything are gotten used to. It’s just a shame there doesn’t seem to be any guides for this title. It isn’t bad to just play it and have a good time, but the relationship can seem a bit empty and meaningless without knowing what’s being said and what your options are for a response. So, basically, without Japanese knowledge, the game is a great one-night stand, but would probably warrant more of a commitment if you can actually understand each other..